Write Your Own Vows...





The most common question I am presented with is that of the wording of the vows during the ceremony.

As an interfaith non-denominational minister I can allow for any wording that affirms your commitment to each other. In light of this; you can use traditional wordings or you can write your own.

It's easier than you think.
Try this plan.

1. sit down with your partner and discuss what type of feeling you want your vows to evoke. Spiritual? Emotional? Celebratory? All of the above?

2. Make notes or tape record yourselves speaking the words. Does it flow,? Do you feel good saying those words? Will you be able to say them when nervous? Do you want the officiant to have you repeat them, or do you want a prompt card?

3. Do you want to include poetry or a little personal reading to your loved one? Have you overcome something together, like illness or adversity that you want to thank your partner for supporting you in?

4. Practice the words, and if any presentations are involved, test them for time and practicality, for instance gift giving involves a procession of people to the front.

5. Change it at the rehearsal. This is the time to see how it all feels, do not be afraid to edit.

6. Put it into practice on your big day, make sure everyone, including the officiant, knows where they should be, and if people do have to come up to you, that there is room for them.



Children in the vow taking...

Some couples already have children. You can involve them in the vow taking to celebrate the making of a new family or the affirmation of an existing one.

A couple of things to bear in mind;

If you are not the only parents, it's probably not a good idea to involve them in the vows, as their other parent/s may be offended. If you can ask for their opinion, if you can't, then it's best avoided.

Some small children will be intimidated in front of a large crowd of people, and may not react as expected. Tears and wailing can definitely change the atmosphere.

You'll need an extra helper to coordinate the children, at the front of the gathering, a grandparent or someone else they are relaxed with. To avoid the Bride and Groom having to give orders/instructions and having to remove clinging shy small people from their leg during the ceremony!

Get your brain working with these ideas....



Wedding Ceremonies - Ideas for Vows


I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my [opt: lawfully wedded] (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward.

In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

I (name), take you (name) to be my (husband/wife), my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.

In the presence of God and these our friends I take thee to be my husband/wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my friend, my lover, the (mother/father) of my children and my (husband/wife). I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity.

I, [name], choose you [name] to be my [husband/wife], to respect you in your successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the (man/woman) you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.

I (name) affirm my love to you, (name) as I invite you to share my life. You are the most beautiful, smart, and generous person I have ever known, and I promise always to respect you. With kindness, unselfishness and trust, I will work by your side to create a wonderful life together.

I take you (name) to be my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live.



(Name), I love you. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.
I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard,
when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.




Affirmations


(Name) do you take (name) to be your lawful wedded wife/husband? (each responds, "I do.") Do you promise to love and cherish her/him, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her/him, for so long as you both shall live? (each responds, "I do.") Do you together promise in the presence of your friends and family that you will at all times and in all circumstances, conduct yourselves toward one another as becomes Husband and Wife? (Together they respond, "We do.") Do you together promise you will love, cherish and respect one another throughout the years? (Together they respond, "We do.")

I (Name) pledge my undying love to you (Name) as I invite you to share my life. I promise to be kind, unselfish, respectful, and trustworthy so that together, our dreams of a beautiful future can come true. To this end I call upon all present to witness that I take you (Name) to be my (husband/wife/spouse), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live.

I (Name), take you, (Name) to be my (husband/wife/spouse). I promise to respect and support you, to be patient and loving towards you, to work by your side to achieve the things we value and dream of, and to savor our time together.
I pledge to you all of these things from the bottom of my heart for the rest of our lives.



I (Name), take you (Name) to be my (husband/wife/spouse), to share both good times and bad times, side by side. I give you my hand, and my heart, and hope that my love will always be a safe haven for you. Just as this circle is without end, my love for you is eternal. Just as it is made of a permanent metal, my commitment to you is forever. With this ring, I thee wed.

In the name of God, I, (Name), take you, (Name), to be my (husband/wife/spouse), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

(Name), today I take you for my (husband/wife/spouse). Now we will feel no rain, for each of us will be shelter for the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of us will be companion to the other. There is only one life before us, and our seasons will be good and long. I promise to love, honor, and cherish you, no matter what lies before us, for as long as we both shall live.

(Name), I take you to be my (husband/wife/spouse), from this point forward, to join with you and to share all that is to come, to be your faithful (husband/wife/spouse), to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond. This will be a commitment made in love, kept in faith, and eternally made new.

I, (Name), take you (Name), to be my (husband/wife/spouse), my constant friend, my faithful partner in life, and my one true love. On this special [opt: and holy] day, I (affirm/reaffirm/give) to you in the presence of God and (all those in attendance/these witnesses) my (pledge/sacred promise) to stay by your side as your [opt: faithful] wife in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as well as through the good times and the bad. I (promise/further promise) to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve (higher/all of your) goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

I, (Name), take thee (Name), to be my wedded (husband/wife/spouse), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do us part, according to God’s ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my troth.

In the name of God, I, (Name), take you, (Name), to be my (husband/wife/spouse) to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.


____, do you take ____ to be your wedded (wife/husband), and in the presence of these witnesses do you vow that you will do everything in your power to make your love for (her/him) a growing part of your life? Will you continue to strengthen it from day to day and week to week with your best resources? Will you stand by (her/him) in sickness or in health, in poverty or in wealth, and will you shun all others and keep yourself to (her/him) alone as long as you both shall live?



____, will you have ____ to be your wedded (wife/husband), to live together in the covenant of faith, hope, and love according to the intention of God for your lives together in Jesus Christ? Will you listen to (her/him) inmost thoughts, be considerate and tender in your care of (her/him), and stand by (her/him) faithfully in sickness and in health, and, preferring (her/him) above all others, accept full responsibility for (her/him) every necessity for as long as you both shall live?


I take you ___, to be my (husband/wife), loving you now and as you grow and develop into all that God intends. I will love you when we are together and when we are apart; when our lives are at peace and when they are in turmoil; when I am proud of you and when I am disappointed in you; in times of rest and in times of work. I will honor your goals and dreams and help you to fulfill them. From the depth of my being, I will seek to be open and honest with you. I say these things believing that God is in the midst of them all.



Including your parents..





One of my personal favourites is a ceremony wherein the parents actually hand over their children to each other in a symbolic joining of the families.

Of course, in older times, this was a very crucial matter as the joining of families was often socio-political, and it could be a matter of life and death to some. Warring families often gave their children in marriage, to heal the rift, and make it impossible to continue the war as they were now all the same family/clan.

I can't promise that all family feuds end at the wedding, but it's definitely a good way to start.

Basically, the two sets of parents walk to the officiant, their arms linked either side of their offspring. Upon reaching the 'neutral ground' in front of the officiant, they present the Bride and Groom to each other, usually offering them to the other family. Try "I give you this day my Daughter/Son's hand in marriage, that we may honour their love, and that we may be joined as family from this day forth"

You can also 'accept' the new member to the family by saying "We welcome you to our family, we will love and honour you as our own, and support you in your marriage" etc.

There are many ways to add this special twist to the ceremony, right down to having the whole congregation take the vows along with you...

"Do those witnesses here present, promise to honour and support the marriage of _________&________?" "We do!"
"Do you promise to aid them in times of need, to counsel them in times of trouble and to share with them your wisdom" "We do!"















Note: This information is gathered from many sources. I thank all those who have contributed. Some of it is original, in as much as such things can be. Use it as you see fit.
If you copy it, a link to my site would be appreciated, but not required.